Love is something difficult to define and even up to poets have tried to do that like something very personal. Nevertheless, over the past few years, there are researchers who are trying to give an explanation to this feeling.
One of them is the psychologist Robert Sternberg who talks about the “triangular love Theory”: intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (sexual attraction) and commitment (be together).
On the basis of this theory, we can define an enduring love as that which comply with and respect these three rules. But, can we keep this foundations forever?
Thanks to all the investigations that have been taken over recent years, we know that the biggest source of all what happens to us when we fall in love is dopamine, a neurotransmitter that increase and produce pleasant symptoms. But it doesn’t act alone, because noradrenaline steps in also, and it makes us focus our attention in one object (love object in this case). We have to add a decline in serotonin which is the responsible to generate obsessive thoughts related with our love.
This could sound as a real love and we could say outright that love will last forever if people could maintain their feelings on the top, but it has been demonstrated that chemical love ends in 2 or 3 years after the first crush.
In light of the anthropologist Helen Fisher, two patters were repeated: women had children every four years, exactly the average of expiration time of marriage. Coincidence? The anthropologist wraps up that in couples it tends to repeat a cycle: a first stage of crush which the priority is sexual contact; the other one called love or affection, where the objective is to have a child; and the last one which ends up with the splitting.
Notwithstanding, it is just a theory but not a science. Passion can increase or decrease depending on the chemical fluctuations, but along the time other elements can raise like solidarity or fellowship, which will contribute to feed the passion.
If we are able to keep passion in equal measures as affection and solidarity, everything improves.
On the other hand we can compare two different opinions between teenagers and elderly people. What we are going to obtain is a large percentage of teenagers that deny the possibility of “love for ever” and, in contrast, the majority of elderly people would believe in eternal love.
The reasons why we obtain these answers are: nowadays technology and social networks are all around and we are much more open to the society considering all the chances that lie ahead; today, and thanks to all those who fight for it, we have the freedom to choose with who we want to stay and we have the right of divorce in comparison with the madness that was meant to split up with your couple.
In conclusion, we can say that we must take into consideration the three rules of the “triangular love Theory” if we want to love someone forever and we should keep the fire burning if we want prolong the chemical love that appears when we crush with someone.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
TED’S àhttps://www.ted.com/talks/alec_soth_stacey_baker_this_is_what_enduring_love_looks_like [09.03.2017]
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